apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
only if we run a train.
done.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
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