I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
