oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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