Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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