and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Bring me that man meat
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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