I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Too much gin, very little bucket
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
