Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
