Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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