the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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