handjob tips. give me some.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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