Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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