Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
