just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
