we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
sex in a hospital.. check
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize