You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
