...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
PANTIES FOUND
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