There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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