I want to have your abortion
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
