she kept yelling 'call me bella'
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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