Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
