even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
