Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
