operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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