I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize