Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
