carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize