Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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