just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
