Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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