I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
At least life still wants to fuck me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
