Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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