I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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