I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
