There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize