Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
