apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize