I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
