just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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