I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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