what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You made out with two different species that night
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
