Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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