got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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