Only a mothe r could love this liver
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
