why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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