well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
