i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Randomize
