How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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