I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize
