Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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