Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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