She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
