Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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