a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
