you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize