So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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