if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
just come out here and I will go home with you...
North Korea, Best Korea!
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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