Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
