well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
