either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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