I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
