then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It's rum buckets o'clock
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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