dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
