We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
