i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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