On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
how does that bad decision feel?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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