Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
