Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I currently don't understand fingers.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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