so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
