Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
