This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
