This is not my ceiling
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
